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█Gift card · No. 30/10
Happy Birthday!
For my Russian bourgeois Genshin hicca
VALID ON
30th of October
VALUE
Priceless*
*not subject to inflation
Message from Death himself
"In 1 year you'll officially be old grumpy 18 y.o, but relax for now."
Annual report · don't panic
Economics, are not that scary
I know economic major is terrifying. So here are the only graphs you'll ever need.
Figure
Supply & Demand of Arlecchino
Demand for The Knave is perfectly inelastic. Price of primogems: irrelevant.
Figure
Happiness over time
Exponential growth detected around 30 October. Analysts are stunned.
Figure
Hicca Index (Genshin hours)
Bull market. Touch grass index remains at historic lows.
Figure
Wealth distribution of Snezhnaya
You are in the bourgeoisie bracket. Marx would be disappointed.
Figure
Primogem stock (PRIMO)
Candles go red before banners, green after pity. Classic market cycle.
Figure
Laffer curve of homework
Optimal homework rate: 0%. Maximum birthday revenue achieved.
Figure
Budget allocation
Pie chart audited by the school's deputy director. Approved.
Figure
Inflation of age
Rate of aging: +1 per year. Central bank refuses to intervene.
Ծնունդդ շնորհավոր!
Happy birthday in Armenian. May your year be sweet like a pomegranate 🍷 and tall like Mount Ararat 🏔️.
Figure · SOAD market
System of a Down — Chop Suey!
Toxicity index: all-time high. Armenian excellence 🇦🇲
Fatui · Fourth Harbinger
"Even The Knave would bow to the birthday girl."
To the most loyal Arlecchino main in all of Teyvat — may all your 50/50s be won. ❤️🖤